home is where the heart is

this swing is our saving grace. emmy likes perpetual motion. so this is where she sleeps each night. thank you rachel for getting this for her!

she's also a big fan of dad. after a long session of crying, she usually ends with a deep sigh and a cute little "rosebud" face like this. dad holding her is usually a good way to get to the successfully soothed rosebud face.

release me

we have a release date in site! it looks like monday, march 28th will be the magical day we get to bring our emerson home if all goes well. she will be 44 days old.

she has recovered well from her g-tube surgery and we've begun to learn how to use it. it's been a little overwhelming. we kind of feel like we've been given an advanced trigonometry test to complete and we haven't even passed pre-algebra yet. but we're slowing getting over the shock and the unfamiliarity of all of this and the anger of why my baby has to have a tube coming out of her belly. because. . .well we have to!

we met with her team of doctors today and received some good news. they did a sleep study this week to ensure she isn't having any issues with breathing or heart decelerations or anything else unusual we need to worry about when she's home. she had no issues and therefore, we will not have to use any monitors when she comes home. this is a big relief for us. so her only medical equipment will be the feeding tube and a suction machine that will hopefully get minimal usage.

we also met with the home nursing company who will provide our nurses when we get home. it looks like we will not need round the clock nursing. but we will need a nurse about 40 hours a week or so. this will ensure adam and i can both work and will also help supplement our care as emerson will require a bit more energy than your average baby.

so all in all, things are moving ahead. we still have our ups and downs, of course, and are still trying to come to terms with this hand we've been dealt. sometimes i feel totally upbeat about it and other times i feel completely deflated. i'm trying my best to get to a place of acceptance.

to all who continue to pray for us and support us with your sweet messages, thank you. i know we haven't (me in particular) been great about responding. but know that your thoughts and words mean so very much to me. lots of love.

sleeping beauty

chapter two

well today was a milestone. emmy had her surgery this morning to place the g-tube in her stomach. oddly, adam and i were both excited about this surgery knowing that this was the next step in getting our baby girl home. going back to our holland analogy, this isn't the typical way in which to bring a baby home, but nothing is typical these days. and we're just ready to have her home and begin our lives together.

so we arrived at the hospital bright and early to see her off to her surgery. she was a little grumbly, likely a little hungry. the whole process was quick and only took about an hour. it was a bit nerve wracking, but she came through it just fine. once again proving how strong she is and what a little fighter she is.

so now we get to learn about this g-tube and how it all works. here we thought we'd be learning about breast feeding and bottles and maybe even formula. but our path is different. and we're just happy to have a reliable way to ensure our baby gets the nutrients she needs until she able to eat on her own. and we're confident that day will come.

now for the best part. . .no more tubes or tape on our sweet girls face!

say a little prayer for me

http://thissweetcountrylife.blogspot.com/2011/03/say-little-prayer-for-me.html

Another fundraiser for sweet Emmy G

Thanks to our friends at Boost-Radio.com

great expectations

sorry for the lag in posting. i guess you could say it hasn't been my top priority as we're learning to live in this new world we've been thrown into. i'm trying my best to stay positive and hopeful about the future. and to remember that we won't be given more than we can handle. i have to admit, i've already felt like it was more than i can handle. but then i try to stop, breath and put one foot in front of the other. sometimes it helps. sometimes, i continue to feel like we're living in an alternate universe. and sometimes i think i'll wake up from this horrible dream at any minute. but i know it's not a dream. and for the love of our sweet baby, we must march on. so with all these mixed emotions, it's been tough to wrangle a clear enough thought to write a simple blog post. but here goes anyway.

every day we get so many emails, calls and texts asking how emmy is, how we are, how everything is. i guess the universal answer is "ok". all is as good as can be expected considering the situation. emmy remains in the hospital. she is doing well, but our big hurdle continues to remain how she will develop over the long haul. keep in mind her brain was injured. the part that was injured controls her motor development. it's tough to say how much effect this will have on her when she is this young. currently, it's causing her problems with eating, sucking and swallowing to be specific. this is something she can learn, but it will take a great deal of work. she's been working on it every day. we have some good days and some bad days. in the meantime, she will be getting a feeding tube surgically inserted in her belly to ensure she continues to get proper nutrition. we pray this is not permanent, but rather just a stepping stone.

other developmental delays, if any, won't surface until down the road. so it's just a wait and see situation.

as for when she'll come home. we also don't know the answer to this question. her feeding tube surgery is planned for next thursday. provided that goes well and she recovers quickly, i'd guess she'd be home in the week or two following. but doctors really haven't given us a schedule. i guess there is no rush. although fearful of what it'll be like when she comes home, part of me can't wait to get her here. endless hours at the nicu have worn heavy on my heart and soul. and really, we are just ready to get her home and move forward with our lives, no matter how different that may be.

on a final note, words cannot express how grateful we are for the outpouring of love, support and donations that our friends, family and even complete strangers have showered us with. thank you doesn't seem like enough of a sentiment to convey how appreciative we truly are.