back back to cali cali

it's so good to be home!  and especially going into a sunny, mid-70s weekend.  i plan on doing a whole lot of lounging.  dreamy! 

but first, i work.  lots to catch up on after being away from my desk for the last week.  my family is still asleep, so in this quiet house, lots can be accomplished.  just a minute ago, i peeked around the corner and saw this.

you see, as soon as i get out of the bed in the morning, i'm replaced.  any chance she can get, daisy likes to take over my spot.  she does the same thing if adam gets up first.  (but that never happens.)  but usually he comes to bed after me at night, and daisy warms his spot until he arrives.  then she begrudgingly moves with lots of whiny grunts to show her discontent at being relocated.

and you may wonder where blu is in all of this?  here she is at the foot of the bed. 

she tried to look away in disgust as i was taking this picture.  but i insisted she look at me.  speaking of blu. . .tomorrow is her birthday.  she will be 15!  quite an accomplishment i'd say.  and we couldn't be happier that she's still holdin it down with us. 

where's waldo?

you may be wondering where in the world i am?  or maybe not.  today i'm in new york city.  yesterday i was in palm springs.  i arrived here at 1 am. . .that's only 10 pm west coast time.  i crashed in my closet-sized hotel room immediately upon arrival and then woke up at 7 am. . .which is 4 am west coast time.  and that is when the time change hits you like a ton of bricks.  ouch!  but it's now 1:30 in new york which means my day is more than half over.  and that's a good thing.  i'm a little delirious! 

blast from the past

this is an exciting week.  i have guests coming. . .two of my best girlfriends!!  berit is coming from seattle and anne is coming from philadelphia.  but the three of us spent the better part of our 20s in portland together.

berit and i met our freshman year in college; we lived across the hall from each other at the all-girls dorm GSP.  not sure what GSP stands for. . .but we liked to say it stood for "girls state prison".  ha. . .so dramatic.  i believe this photo is from freshman year. . .we look like we were 12!

our sophomore year, berit and i moved into our first off-campus apartment together.  oh the fun times we had there.  life was so easy and carefree then.  this is a picture of us in that first apartment on the day we moved in.  of course we had to have a papasan chair and ottoman from pier 1!

our junior year, berit moved back to kansas city and i moved in with new roommates, but our friendship continued.  i even coerced berit to come along with me on a spontaneous trip to santa barbara.  she is always up for an adventure!

berit and i share a love of music and we consumed about every live music event possible in our years at KU.  here's a look at us all done up on the way to some concert or another.  hair couffed and lips lined. . .check, check.

after i graduated from college in 1997, i was looking for a new adventure.  berit had been living in portland, closer to where her parents had moved in seattle.  she suggested i come check it out. . .so i did.  here's a shot from our first portland apartment. . .back then i had a lot of long, extra bleach blonde hair.

shortly after i moved to portland, we outgrew the one bedroom apartment she was living in and found a cute little two bedroom cottage to move into.  here we are on the front porch with berit's mom and a few friends. . . including one friend whom berit went on to marry.

portland is where i first met anne.  i was working for a temp agency, getting placed in random administrative type jobs until i landed a permanent gig.  the temp agency called me for a receptionist position at a pr agency.  they had called anne too, whom i didn't know at the time, for the same position.  but they called me first, so i got it.  she got called in for another position that became available at the same agency.  so we met on our first day of work.  we were both the newbies so we ended up going to lunch together.  the rest is history. . .we became quick friends and spent the next several years going to lunch together every day and happy hour nearly every night.

here's a shot of us in las vegas. . .during my dark haired years.  they didn't last long. . .i'm a blonde at heart.  and i've tried going dark a few times since, but i always revert back to the blonde pretty quickly.

one thing i love about anne is how direct and forth right she is.  she's from the east coast and she tells it like it is.  here's a great shot of anne. . .probably about to speak her mind.

anne moved to philly shortly i moved to LA.  i miss her, but fortunately i get to see her at least once a year when i'm out on the east coast for work.  or we plan a little adventure together.

i'm so excited for my girlfriends to visit!  these two girls have been with me for most of the ups and downs of life and i love em.  here's anne being a "snake" in front of the snake pit on melrose during my bachelorette party weekend in la and the three of us shopping on robertson after my bridal shower.

i spent yesterday preparing the guest rooms.  we actually only have one official guestroom.  the second room was adam's studio. . .turned my sewing/craft room and will eventually be a nursery.  but i threw an air mattress covered with a feather bed, and i think it will do.  i wanted to crawl in it!

we'll only be here for one night. . .then we are headed to palm springs.  we rented a great house. . .

and we're going to a big, three-day music festival called coachella.  anne and i attended the same festival in 2004 and it was no less than 104 degrees in the shade.  here's us then, baking. . .

it's not supposed to be that hot this weekend.  regardless, it'll be so much fun to reconnect with the girls.  and i'm also pretty excited to see some of my favorite bands like. . .Muse, LCD Soundsystem, Pavement, Phoenix, Spoon, Vampire Weekend, Fever Ray, MGMT and Grizzly Bear. . .just to name a few.

and it also won't be too shabby to spend some time in the dessert, laying out by the pool and soaking in the hot tub with the girlfriends without a care in the world. . .just like old times.

it's official. . .i'm married!

the ceremony was several years ago. . . october 14, 2006 to be exact.  but up until now, i haven't had a wedding band to prove i was much more than engaged. 

don't get me wrong.  i told my sweet husband that i didn't need a wedding band; that the engagement ring was enough.  we were on a tight budget and already spending so much on the wedding.  and we were using the credit card for the honeymoon.  i just didn't know where he would come up for money for the ring and it just didn't seem important. 

you see the engagement ring was particularly special to me.  it houses one of two diamonds from my grandma's ring.  my sister has the other.  because it's so special, it seemed to make up for the rest. 

but fast forward a few years, and people continuously asking when i'm getting married, and i have been ready for a wedding band for awhile!  but it just seemed silly to spend the money. . .until now. 

so on friday, when adam asked me if i wanted to go look at rings, my heart did a flip flop, i broke into a smile and said "let's go!"  crazy what the thought of a little platinum and diamonds will do to a girl.   despite having a ton of work to do, we decided to take a little lunch break and head into hollywood. . .to phillip press. 

phillip press is the name of the jeweler who custom made my engagement ring and he's genius.  so we looked around his amazing store and i zeroed in on a band that caught my eye.  but mr. press himself was not there and i really needed his advice.  so we left, empty-handed, and braved the friday afternoon rush hour traffic back to the valley. 

today (saturday) i called to see if he would be in the store and he himself answered.  so we trekked back into the city.  i assumed we would merely be doing a consultation and that he'd have to custom make my ring.  but low and behold, the band that had caught my attention was meant for me.  it was a perfect fit and mr. press confirmed it was a great design to compliment my existing ring.  he threw in a 25 percent discount and we were sold. 

so i got to walk out of the store sporting my new bling.  hoooray!  i can't stop looking at it.  it's so sparkly and beautiful.  and for the rest of the day (at least) i will be the perfect wife.  ha!

the photo really doesn't do it justice.  you'll just have to see next time i'm home!  the second photo gives a better idea of the detail. . .think small square diamonds in box settings all the way around with engraving all along the sides of the band.  my diamonds aren't quite as big as the ones pictured.  but it's still amazing! 

i told adam we should do this much more often.  i was kidding (kind of).  now i think i'll go get a manicure and use my hands a lot when i speak.

San Francisco Treat!

Tomorrow I'm going to San Francisco!  This may sound like fun, but it's not really going to be that much fun.  I won't get to ride a streetcar.  I won't get to visit the Fisherman's Wharf, Pier 39 or Chinatown.  I won't go to Ghiradelli Square or trek down the world's crookedest street, Lombard Street (pictured).  I won't cross the Golden Gate Bridge or visit Haight and/or Ashbury.  No. . .I won't get to do any of those fun things.  I'll be flying in, driving to a meeting, giving a presentation, driving back to the airport and flying home.  But fortunately, I've seen all of the aforementioned attractions.  This trip is strictly business.  And with any luck, KHPR will garner a new client.  So wish us luck!

Chapter 1

Editor's Note (I decided to record this "diary" so that I could remember the timeline of things. I want to heal, but I don't want to forget. And while the dates and details are vivid now, I know they will fade over time. I had no intention of blogging this. . .but then thought why not. So here is my story. I must warn you: it doesn't have a happy ending. . .yet. But this is just the beginning and one day it will.
 

June 2009

It all began in June 2009. We officially began “trying” to make a baby. I really didn’t think it would be any big deal. I mean, how hard could it be? People do it every day. . .including people not “trying” at all! So we took a “babycation” and drove up the coast to a cute little town called Cambria to begin our mission.

February 2010

Well skip ahead a few months. . .(or several months really) and I’m starting to get a little concerned that things are taking so long! Is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with him? I decided to take matters into my own hands and go in to speak with a fertility specialist. He ran some blood tests on me. . .and well, you can guess what poor Adam had to do.

So right about the time we were getting the test results back showing nothing appeared to be wrong. . .presto whammo. . .something seemed to be different. And with one. . .then two little tests. . .I received what the ladies like to refer to as a BFP (that’s Big Fat Positive in layman’s terms). Well that was Sunday, February 28th.

March 2010

So first thing Monday (March 1st), I called the doctor to report my findings. They had me come in immediately for a blood test. I had to wait until Tuesday for the result, which confirmed my suspicion. I was indeed pregnant. Hooray! But my progesterone was showing a little low, so they started me on a progesterone supplement. On Thursday, I had to go back for another blood test to ensure my HcG levels were tripling. They were!

So excited about what was happening, I threw myself wholeheartedly into being pregnant. I planned the nursery, I made a few purchases, I started reading baby books, I daydreamed a lot, I took prenatal yoga classes and suddenly I was very tired. Exhaustion seemed to be one of my only early symptoms (other than my swelling dairy factory) and it hit me full force. But I was excited, and happy I wasn't nauseous, and everything was fine. And thankfully, I work from home and can even work from my bed if need be. My computer goes just about anywhere.

So I was settling into my new state and feeling quiet content with things. I told close friends and family, but withheld from telling the masses until things progressed a little further. My how difficult it is to hold in a secret like that! It was the only thing I wanted to talk about and the topic was essentially off limits.

So I channeled my energy into making a tiny hand-made crib quilt. It was a little bit time consuming, but so completely fulfilling. And finally, on Friday, March 26, after three weeks of diligently working on my masterpiece, it was complete. Two hours later, I began to cramp and bleed and would soon learn this was the beginning of the end of this pregnancy.

I spent a few hours in the ER that night and things weren’t looking so good. I remained in bed for the weekend. . .waiting on pins and needles and knowing things weren’t right. On Monday, March 29th, exactly a month after I first learned of my pregnancy, my doctor confirmed with an ultrasound that my womb was once again empty. Fortunately, this happened early and completely naturally. I am very thankful for that.

April 2010

So it’s been a tough week to say the least. But today is the first day of April and I can honestly say the sun seems to be shining a little brighter. I’m still sad and really disappointed. But I know that this is how it was meant to be. I’m hopeful for the future. I’m ready to move on. I know this is just a bump in the road and just the beginning of our journey. I know there is a master plan for us and when it’s meant to be, it will be.

And I am thankful in so many ways for everything I have. I'm thankful for my family and friends. I'm thankful for my dogs. I'm thankful for the health of my loved ones and myself. I'm thankful for my home and my job and all of the comforts I have that make my life so much easier than many others who suffer and go without on a daily basis. I'm thankful that I'm married to the most amazing man who is supportive and understanding and makes me feel very loved. And I'm thankful for knowing without a doubt that one day we will be able to add the final piece to our puzzle.

So this story is to be continued. . .

a miracle of major proportions!

Most of the time, I'm working on fashion brands and surf contests and other fun (but not earth shattering) stuff.  But every once in awhile, I  get to work on something that makes a difference.  One such client that we offer pro bono PR services to is Boarding for Breast Cancer.  Well awhile back, they asked me if I'd help out with a project where a former pro surfer named Jodie Nelson was embarking on a history-making mission to be the first woman to Stand Up Paddle (SUP) almost 40 miles from Catalina Island to Dana Point in order to generate awareness and raise money for breast cancer.  Of course, I said, of course! 

Last weekend, Jodie succeeded in her mission and completed the paddle.  It was a grueling task, one that she says she couldn't have completed without God's help.  But what makes this story even more unique and inspiring is what happened along the way.  A 30-foot minke whale swam alongside her for 2 of the 9 hours it took to finish the voyage.  Read the complete story here. 

Although she's finished the paddle, her real goal is to raise $100,000 for the cause.  And despite the immense media support she has been getting, the money just hadn't been rolling in.  Up until today, she had only raised $8,000.  But a few hours ago, her story was featured on the frontpage of Yahoo and her fundraising total has already nearly doubled! 

Just such a wonderful, feel good story with the markings of our higher power all of it.  Love it.

And for anyone who knows anyone who has ever been touched by breast cancer and would like to contribute to the cause, you can donate here.